Elephant leg 

10:09 pm

So here I lay with another new experience.  Along with all of the other firsts this month I add – blood clot. I’m not a big fan. At this point my right leg looks like a tic about to pop. Not real comfortable either. This wonderful new experience has added a new twist to evrything. I have been in a ping pong tournament of Doctor opinions. It is exhausting. The talk of nephrectomy, the removal of my native kidneys, has been on the table since we came in Monday. My beef is only three surgeons have had their hands in my guts, one has been tracking me for over year and one went back to his regular hospital. So I have one surgeon left on call explain my situation to other on call surgeons and it is nuts. It is like a bad game show. “How fast can you explain this persons history in two minutes or less!” And after the huddle breaks  and fast briefing, they roar in and make stupid statements like; how long were you on dialysis, why have you lost so much weight, why did you stop eating and drinking. It is like a game called “Groundhog Day PKD kidney transplant.” I want to say holy sh@t and pass the Tylenol after they leave. 

In their defense, they are highly educated and know WAY more than this dumb old mechanic, but common sense seems to be a rarity. Nobody can seem to get on the same page. It is getting to be frustrating. I will never doubt their intelligence at all, but I’m the dumb hillbilly they are going to be hacking on. 

Here is where I am. I want everyone to stop, take a breath and communicate. All I ask for is a well thought out, educated decision. I have done everything asked of me in this process and all I ask is a little respect back. They have to deal with a lot of horrible patients. Trust me, I have seen and heard them here. I want to play ball. When the rubber meets the road, my health and life are what hang in the balance. 

So I may be a little salty at this point, and I am sorry. All I want is to start my heathy new life. I have been given an amazing gift by a beautiful person. I am so worried that something may jeopardize this and I get defensive. 

Thank you all again for the love and prayers. I have to stop and quell my anger and remember I am in my Creators hands. Sometimes it is hard to remember that when you keep getting kicked while you are down. I am still alive! That is the greatest gift ever! And I keep saying, it could be worse. 

With love, 

Shannon

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s